Help Me Express Myself Clearly

 Good morning, Followers,

     Funny how the very thing in life you are studying is the very thing you need more help with yourself.

I'm in the Expression Tools of my Confidence Coaching from "Transformation Academy". I have ironically asked for help from my counselor to improve my communication skills.

This session for Expression Tools is concise and helps pave the wave to healthier communication.

1. Making "I" statements. In this tool, the client gets to focus on their own feelings while taking "responsibility" for their part. It also defines NOT accusing the other party directly or naming their behavior. This is about "You" the "Client". Instead of saying, " You breathe down my neck when I'm typing", rephrase it into an "I" statement. "Sometimes when I'm typing, it feels like you are getting into my personal space, and I feel smothered by this."

You can begin by reflecting on something you need to address.

So, ask yourself, what behaviors do you the client need to address that the other party did?

How can you rephrase these as "I" statements?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu4_bjLlBok

2. Use XYZ or "When, What, How" Statements

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZDLQK3CSrc

These help you to get specific. 

X: When- Identify the specific incident or behavior you're referring to

Y: What- Clearly identify the other person's behavior

Z: How- Use an "I" statement to express how it made you feel or impacted you

An example of this would be Yesterday(when), when you didn't call me at 5:30 our appointed time (what), I felt like you were disrespecting me and my time.

This sentence clearly tells the other party how their behavior impacted you and what they could do differently!

This also works for POSITIVE statements as well!!!! When you want to PRAISE someone, being specific helps REINFORCE "POSITIVE" behavior. For example: Once this person changes their behavior, you can respond by telling them: " Today you came through on completing your goal and I'm so proud of what you discovered in the process."

Consider the issues or behaviors you need to address and rephrase them into XYZ statements:

Issue:

When:

What:

How:


Full Statement:


3. Make a feel-good sandwich. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMpRX_Mtjac

This tool works in negative situations where you can "Soften" the negative by sandwiching it in between two positives.

What is something positive about the situation and or person such as something you "appreciate" or what is going well that you can "acknowledge before bringing up the issue?

Next, What's the issue you're bringing up?

What's another positive statement that points out past obstacles that have been overcome or positive outcomes you already foresee that you could bring up after approaching this topic?









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