Tools in Emotional Grief Healing
Good morning, Followers,
Funny how life and HP will give you what you need right when you need it if you are paying ATTENTION!!!
I was driving to get my car that I inherited from my former oldest brother serviced, and I was nudged to do Grief Coaching. I don't think it was an accident because I had been praying for many months to do something in his memory and here the answer CAME!
The course came through "Certified Execellence". Here going to cover tools for Grief Healing:
1. Mindfulness and Meditation to reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, PTSD. It also helps those in grief learn to get into the present moment, observe their thoughts and emotions without JUDGMENT and cultivate an attitude of ACCEPTANCE and Self-Kindness.
https://heatherstang.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/ADEC-Handout-2016-Final.pdf
https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-grief-and-loss/
2. Therapeutic Writing and Journaling Exercises: This tool allows grievers to safely express their thoughts, emotions and memories that are attached to the loss of their loved one.
James Pennebaker, a pioneer in therapeutic writing research, demonstrated that writing about difficult emotional experiences for 15 to 20 minutes a day for 3 to 4 days in a row can have beneficial effects on both physical and mental health. His studies reported that participants engaged in therapeutic writing reported a decrease in symptoms of stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as improvement in their immune function and overall quality of life.
Another form of therapeutic writing is known as drafting a LIFE STORY of the DECEASED including key moments of their existence and exploring the IMPACT they had on those around them. This particular exercise helps bereaved individuals honor the memory of their loved ones, integrate their LEGACY into their own LIFE STORY and find MEANING in their relationship beyond DEATH. This particular exercise is free writing and isn't about grammar, punctuation or even spacing. The idea is to allow the GRIEVER to GET OUT THEIR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS WITHOUT CENSORSHIP.
https://www.bookishelf.com/writing-therapy-how-to-write-therapeutically/
3. Grief Rituals and Ceremonies: These might include funerals, wakes or cremation ceremonies where grievers gather together, share memories and pay a final tribute to the deceased loved one. The symbolic gestures may include laying flowers, lighting candles or reading specific sacred texts.
They may be other personalized rituals like a tree-planting ceremony in honor of your loved one. this can be a representation of the continuity of life and nature's regeneration. Also, a home altar can be erected with pictures, special objects and offerings in honor of their departed loved one. These intimate rituals allow those grievers to maintain a tangible connection with their LOVED ONE, while creating a SACRED SPACE for their PERSONAL SORROW within the PRIVACY of their HOME.
Anniversaries like Death Dates or Birthdays are also good times to have commemorative RITUALS. Bereaved Individuals can light candles, read special poems, or do activities that their loved ones ENJOYED. These don't have to be COMPLEX. These can be as simple as enjoying a ride to a fun spot, having a picnic, eating a fun dessert, etc. It is a time to allow the GRIEVER to REMEMBER and EXPRESS Their Love, Gratitude, and Sadness in a Personal and Meaningful Way.
https://blog.funeralone.com/grief-and-healing/mourning-ritual/
4. Stress and Emotion Management (Breathing, Relaxation, Visualization):
Conscious Breathing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lxbxcnsnAA
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive Muscle Relaxation - Bridge the gAPP (youtube.com)
Visualization
Grace in Grief | 5-Minute Guided Meditation (youtube.com)
5. Cognitive Restructuring and Modification of Negative or Irrational Thoughts:
Keep a diary of your automatic thoughts or verbalize them to your coach or therapist. Pay close ATTENTION to words and expressions used to describe your grief experience; especially in absolute terms like (always, never, everyone), hasty generalizations, or pessimistic predictions. For example: a mourner may think, "I will never be happy without him or her", or "Life is meaningless now that he or she is gone".
Once these thoughts become identified, they can be considered with the coach or therapist with alternate interpretations. For example, you can encourage them to ask themselves, " Is it true that I will NEVER be happy again?" Haven't there been MOMENTS , even tiny ones, where I've experienced peace or joy, since the loss? or "Has life completely lost its meaning, or can I still find a different meaning through my relationships, commitments, or values?" Am I even the same?
https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/supplemental/Treatment-for-Postdisaster-Distress/Handout-27.pdf
6. Focusing on Positive Memories with the Deceased and Maintaining a Healthy Connection with Them:
Ask your griever to share positive memories, stories, moments of joy and tenderness they shared with their loved one. They can create a photo album or memory book placing images, objects, and testimonies that reflect their loved one's personality, passions, and achievements.
Also, give your grievers the opportunity to explore the qualities, lessons, and values they received from their deceased loved one that continue to inspire and guide them. The fact that I'm taking this course is an inspiration of the strength and to bear witness of my late brother, Anthony who died last year of a rare form of liposarcoma. He always wanted to fight his cancer and bear witness to his HP and those who gave him support on the journey. HP gave me a nudge the other day to do this coaching in his honor and memory.
Maintaining a healthy connection with the deceased might look like creating rituals enabling the griever to express their LOVE and gratitude in a TANGIBLE way. The Griever could write a letter expressing their emotions and memories that have come up since the loss. They can also light candles on special anniversaries, visit cherished places, or engage in ACTIVITIES their loved one ENJOYED.
As a Coach, your role becomes to encourage your client to open up their horizons and start living life for themselves. You can ask them what their loved one would have wished for them, how he or she would have urged them to pursue their path while keeping their memory in their HEARTS.
Finding the Positive After Loss | Mental Health America (mhanational.org)
7. Using the Genogram and Lifeline to Explore Family History and Past Losses:
A genogram helps the griever explore family patterns related to grief such as premature deaths, unresolved losses, secrets, or traumas they may have affected the family history. You can encourage them to think about how these events influenced the lives of their parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents, and how these experiences may have shaped their own personal relationship with grief.
The lifeline is another valuable tool for the grieving client to explore their personal history of losses and transitions. this is a visual representation from birth to present. The client identifies moments of loss, separation, or change (death of a pet, a move, a divorce, or a serious illness). The client can reflect on all these events, the resources they used to cope with them, and lessons they learned along the way
8. Therapeutic Letters: These can be written to the deceased, to oneself, or others involved in the grieving process.
Letters written to the deceased can include communication that wasn't able to be expressed prior to the loved one's death. These can include expressions of love, gratitude, regret, forgiveness, or unresolved questions about life after loss. This enables the griever to have an outlet for intense emotions while maintaining a symbolic connection with their departed loved one.
Letters addressed to oneself can be in the form of offering compassion, understanding, recognizing the pain and challenges of grief. They can also be written from the perspective of one's future-self imagining what one would like to say to the present self as encouragement and guidance on their journey.
These letters can also be written to family members, friends, and health care professionals involved in the grieving process. These letters allow for the expression of difficult feelings like ANGER, DISAPPOINTMENT, or SADNESS with the confinement of a safe space. They clarify needs and expectations, set boundaries, or ask for help.
Writing a Grief Letter to Your Loved One - Grieving Arts
While each individual's journey through grief is unique, I hope you will find something here helpful to your own personal grief experience.
Peace, Compassion, and Gentleness,
Laura
Comments
Post a Comment