Peeling Back the Layers of Your Shadow
I'm facing my fears and peeling back the layers of my own emotions, messaging, molding, and True Self with Shadow Work! Years ago, I wasn't ready. I was too steeped in approval, being obedient, and the big "D" (DENIAL).
Now, I'm ready!!! I've been taking a course on Udemy guided by Elaina Bianca, Spiritual Director and Alternative Practitioner.
Today's lesson was on "The Onion Model".
Here she wonderfully illustrates the layers beneath our shadow:
1.The core (essence) is your TRUE SELF. This is also referred to as your Light Source. This becomes bogged down by the shadow; thus, your Divine Glory can't be emanated.
2.The next Layer surrounding your True Self or CORE is your EMOTIONAL WOUND. These are all the unsettling feelings you have experienced both and suppressed all your life along with the repressed memories that go with them.
3. The tier above that THE DISGUISED SELF, consists of defenses, masks, and archetypes. These are survival mechanisms, tools, and roles that your shadow employs in great efforts to hide the "truth "of its WOUNDED SELF" and further protection to the it's EGO.
4. The next tier contains ADDICTIONS, COMPULSIONS, and COPING MECHANISMS. Typically, these perform as coping mechanisms in your life.
5. Lastly, the outer-most layer represents the outward display of your SHADOW. Specifically, how your shadow effects your psychological presentation. For example: Living in a state of pain, numbness or confusion. The purpose of this shadow work process is to recognize your "current" psychological state and take knowledge where "healing" is "required" to "uplift you. As you examine your "feelings" in the PRESENT moment, you will begin to realize how compulsions., addictions, and behaviors have led you to feel this way. With this new-found "awareness", you can dive deeper to further investigate your own defenses and masks. Dismantling and shutting the upmost layers will allow you to unveil the "emotional source" of your shadow. Ultimately your progression through the layers is what will initiate the healing process.
Let's look at an example: Perhaps you're experiencing a sense of "emptiness" in your life. And every time this feeling overwhelms you, you decide to go shopping for clothes. Buying new items makes you feel GOOD and also fills that "empty space" with a perceived sense of joy, excitement, and satisfaction. However, before long, that feeling of "emptiness" starts to take "hold of you" and that "urge" to "suppress" it with SHOPPING returns. Eventually you realize you have a "shopping addiction". You have put this behavior in "place" as a coping mechanism to distract you from the reasons that make you feel "empty". You start to become aware of your real circumstances; you lost your job. and you've been out of work for months with no prospects. This realization allows you to understand that your new clothes are a "mask" to make you look and feel "GOOD"; successful even but you're hiding behind a pseud that looks "put together". WHY? Because you feel ashamed that you were FIRED, and you feel WORTHLESS that you were OVERLOOKED for countless job postings. You are INSECURE about JOB SECURITY and Fear Financial INSTABILITY. Do you see now how these deep-rooted emotional wounds persuade you to adopt these "DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS" and " an ADVERSE ADDICTION" that AFFECT YOU FEEL TODAY? By healing your emotional wounds, it creates space to let light in ".
I so relate to this example and work. From my teenage years living in such turmoil, I developed anorexia to give me something to "control" instead of truly dealing with the deep pain of living with the trauma, confusion, and abandonment I was feeling and experiencing at the time.
I would love to hear your experiences!
Happy peeling!
Love, Light, and Grace,
Laura
PS. Some great Shadow Work Resources are:
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