Emotional Intelligence and Triggers

 

Good morning followers,

    The topic of triggers has always been a hot one for me as I have experienced them, witnessed them, wanted to avoid them, and also be "cured " of them. Today after many years of self-study, trauma therapy, mindfulness practices, 12 Step Groups, self-compassion, and forgiveness, I'm willing to face them, process them, and  change them or reframe them, and understand myself on a deeper level. When I do this, I'm able to give this understanding, compassion, and love to others.

Here's a great  internet article on Emotional Triggers:

https://neurolaunch.com/emotional-triggers/

  I currently am taking a Emotional Intelligence Life Coaching Course on Transformation Academy. The instructors are Joeel and Natalie Rivera.

https://transformationacademy.com/about-us/?_gl=1*1rzbutw*_gcl_au*MTA4NDgyODEzOS4xNzMzODM1Mzc3

 Today's topic was "Identifying Triggers" and was presented by Joeel Rivera. 

Joeel points out the importance of creating both a happy and emotional state for your life. To do this, you must be able to identify both the positive and negative triggers in your life. These triggers stimulate your "feelings" and "reactions" which mostly occur "unconsciously". Joeel goes on to point out how your mind uses these triggers to protect you. The mind is constantly assessing your situations and attachments to situations. EX: A smell might help us remember the memory that when we were kids our parents cooked for us, like we might walk into a restaurant and it might bring back a particular food that brought us "happiness" within us. It can be a smell, a place, or even a person. It creates a trigger with associations that we might have already. The better we can "identify" these triggers, the better we can keep them from "snowballing" or stop them from impacting us, or even help change them.  

• Ex: If you happen to be in a conversation or a situation with someone or in a place seeing something or listening to something it's important for you to assess:
• Do you start off  happy and shift to frustrated?
• Do you start off  happy and shift to being angry?
• Do you start off  happy and shift to being sad?
• Do you start off  happy and shift to being anxious?
• OR
• Do you fear???
• WHAT IS TRIGGERING THAT?
• Joel explains that sometimes this happens with people that experience "trauma" when a song is playing in the background or if there happens to be a specific smell of a plant it can bring that person right back to that situation. 

 Here's another EX: So it doesn't just have to be "traumatic experiences". Maybe you had an argument with a significant other and there's a song playing in the background. There was a very emotional situation. Your brain starts recording all those things you associate with them or maybe you had a date with someone who had a specific cologne or perfume and that person hurt you in some way, and in the future you might meet someone else and that smell might impact how you see that person even though they have nothing to do with that original person.

So in this "feeling" "identify" all of a sudden how I have changed my "emotional state".

What's making me feel this way?

Is it a trigger that I have in my environment? a person? situation? sound? By connecting the dots, I can replace them.

Instead of connecting the dots, I also can create my own triggers. For example:

I have a lot of people calling me that create stress in my own life. So as soon as I see these people it creates a stress response trigger. So I changed the trigger by changing the image on my phone that appeared on my phone when they would call. Something that brings happiness to my life is my "dog". I can replace that image on my phone with this happy picture of my dog Lulu to keep me away from the stress response trigger. It can also remind me as my Sponsor lovingly does, that my dog needs and deserves a whole Mama not a triggered, angry, depleted one.

Maybe you have a trigger with your environment. Maybe it could be even an elevator or in my case an (escalator) you don't like to step on that triggers an emotional response. How do you shift it? Exposure! The more you're exposed to something, and with the notion "baby steps", the less triggered you might be if something traumatic happened. Also you can "visualize". "Visualize" the situation going well. 

You can also use "visualization" in a triggering conversation. Visualize yourself having a great conversation with someone  that you'd like to talk to but you have a negative rapport with and as soon as you start talking you get triggered and become defensive. Visualizing a positive conversation. Maybe it's you that has a fear of speaking somewhere or talking to someone or going somewhere actually visualizing yourself doing that because in your mind your mind doesn't know the difference between fake or not. By taking that act of visualizing it in a positive way, you'll change some of those triggers. 

https://youtu.be/gU_ABFUAVAs

You can also learn the skill of "reframing". Look at the conversation from the point of "curiosity", "empathy", and "gratitude" because one of the best things you could do is if you have a negative situation that triggers you or a negative thing that triggers you is how can you shift it to a state of gratitude and empathy to a situation is one of the quickest ways to go from a negative emotion to a positive emotion because if it's a person or situation or environment where there's a job or person in job or relationship if you can find something you can be grateful for it, and when triggered, reframe it quickly, and remember what you're "grateful " for about that situation, about that person, about that negative emotional state because you're learning something from it. So you "reframe" what you're getting out of life from it, and then, it's going to change how you "view" , how you "respond" to it, and long term, it's going to impact other aspects of your life because once you start noticing these triggers, it starts snowballing unconsciously as your mind starts searching for those triggers and for ways to make them "change" just because you've already started the process. The emotional intelligence is key to know what these triggers are and then replace them with something else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfkhkFwCtxs

I would love to hear your experience with triggers. 

Peace, Love, and Curiosity,

Laura

If interested in pursuing more reading or work in this area:

Here's some list of books or workbooks: 

• Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control by Scott Spradlin 
• Healing What You Can't Erase: Transform Your Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health from the Inside Out  by  Christopher Cook
• Master Your Emotions: A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings (Mastery Series) 
• by Thibaut Meurisse
• Control Your Mind and Master Your Feelings: This Book Includes - Break Overthinking & Master Your Emotions by Eric Robertson
• Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing, (Paperback) by David Richo
• Your Emotions and You: A Workbook: Strategies and Exercises to Understand and Manage Emotions by Suzette Bray LMFT 
• Shadow Work - Tracking & Healing Emotional Triggers Mindfully: A Guided Journal & Workbook by Dominica Applegate
• Emotional Inflammation: Discover Your Triggers and Reclaim Your Equilibrium During Anxious Times by Lise Van Sustern MD, and Stacey Colino
•  The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson