Let's Explore How You Understand Grief

 

Good morning, all,

 I'm still taking Jan Davidson's Grief Life Coaching Certification Course! This Blog is going to cover

how you, in particular, "YOU" understand GRIEF.

 To begin, we look at our own:

1. Personal Experiences

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7CiTwalB4w

Describe a significant loss you've experienced.

I will briefly share the death of my husband from 20 years ago on Labor Day 2005. I found him dead in our bed, discolored and cold, and in a very distorted position with a very pained look on his face. He was bleeding from his nose, and he had foam coming out of his mouth. I knew from working in a clinic in a middle school, I had to call rescue. I was in shock. My life forever changed that day. Thank God the Fire Dept. was just down the street and came and told me what to do.

How did you cope with this loss? Not well at first. Then, after listening to my children, I went to my primary care doctor, got on some meds, and listened to a very good friend who took me to a grief group for Widows & Widowers. I continued putting myself out there, and over time, I learned about another grief program, Griefshare, from another friend, and I went to that, and eventually started facilitating that with my very good friend who took me to my first grief group for 7 1/2 years.

What did you learn about grief from this experience? I learned so many things! 

1. I learned life didn't stop just because my husband died.

2. I learned how many different roles my husband actually filled that I would now either have to take on or hire others to fill ( he was my mechanic, my handyman, my plumber, my tax preparer, my driver, )

3. I learned to express gratitude and love for those in my life.

4. I learned how to LIVE!

5. I learned how it's okay to cry and laugh!

6. I learned how to stand up for myself!

7. I learned how to love again!

8. I learned how to go back to our bedroom where he died and see it as a room.

There are too many to list!!!!

What have you said or heard others say to someone who was grieving?

1. I'm so sorry for your loss. Prayers lifted for you and your family.

2. They are in a much better place.

3. Did they have a relationship with God? Jesus?

4. You've had a lot of losses.

5. There are no words.

6. A mother shouldn't outlive her child.

2. Family and Cultural Experiences

https://www.prevention.org/Resources/5e82f166-f401-4a46-87a9-a1f2cd50aa53/Grief%20Fact%20Sheet%204%20Cultural%20Responsiveness.pdf

How does your family handle grief and loss? We honor the wishes of the family members. Growing up, we went to funerals, sent sympathy cards, and flowers. We still do that today. We also, if possible, like to do "Celebration of Life" Memorials and make photo DVDs for the families. When our oldest brother had, and eventually died of cancer, we were able to hold Zooms while he was sick and experiencing treatment. It was a loving way for us to hear him, see him, and also let him hear us.

Are there any cultural or religious practices that affect your understanding of grief? I would say personally, mine are more spiritual. I grew up Protestant. I believe that once a person dies, their soul has already made its ascent to Heaven. Their body is being returned to the Earth. My head knows all the knowledge, but my heart has to catch up because my heart is broken from the emotional loss.

Culturally, we usually have a viewing before the burial if possible. Then the service begins with a pastor saying a few words of comfort from the Word, and favorite songs of the departed loved one are sung or played. Eulogies are given. Then the congregation moves out for the burial. 

After the burial, there is usually a time for a visitation and refreshments. Memories of the loved one are shared, and much-needed hugs for the family members go around.

What messages did you receive about grief growing up? Death is a stage of life. When someone dies, you pay your respects.

3. Educational and Professional Background

Free how does education and a professional background shape your understanding of grief?

Education and a professional background significantly influence how individuals understand and process grief. Educated individuals often possess a broader perspective and enhanced cognitive skills, which can lead to a more nuanced understanding of grief. They may also have a greater ability to articulate their feelings and engage in discussions about grief, fostering a more compassionate and informed approach to the topic.
In contrast, uneducated individuals may have a more limited understanding of grief, which can result in a narrower view and potentially less effective coping strategies. Professional backgrounds, such as those in academia or healthcare, may also shape how grief is experienced and processed, as these individuals may encounter grief in their professional roles and need to navigate complex emotional responses.
Understanding the impact of education and a professional background on grief is crucial for fostering empathy and support for those who are grieving. It is essential to recognize that grief is a complex and individual experience, and providing education and support can help individuals process their grief more effectively and move forward with their lives. 

LinkedIn+5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvf6xqSkAcY

Have you ever taken a class or attended a workshop on grief? Yes. I'm currently doing that.

If you work in the behavioral health field, what training have you received about grief? I'm a Life

Coach. I've received a lot of grief training in that area.

How has your professional background shaped your understanding of grief? I'm able to see it from an observer point of view and help steer the client to their goals of putting themselves back out into the world, having healthier communication strategies, self-care, and seeing themselves beyond their loss.

4. Media & Literature

https://www.davidkesslertraining.com/free

What books, movies, or articles have influenced your views on grief?

https://www.infobooks.org/free-pdf-books/self-improvement/overcome-grief/

(#4)

https://www.happierhuman.com/movies-grief-loss/

(Especially loved "The Bucket List")

How have these sources helped or hindered your understanding of grief? They helped give me a visual of what I was experiencing so that I could relate, understand that what I was thinking was normal, and it would "pass".

5. Support Systems

Support Systems and Grief: How Connection Shapes Healing

Support systems play a crucial role in understanding and coping with grief. They provide emotional, psychological, and practical support, which can significantly influence the recovery process. Here are some key points on how support systems help in understanding grief:

• Emotional Support: Support systems offer emotional support, helping individuals to process their feelings and cope with the loss. This can include family, friends, community groups, and professional counselors. 

  6
• Practical Support: Support systems provide practical support, such as helping with daily tasks, providing meals, or offering companionship. This can be particularly helpful during the early stages of grief when individuals may feel isolated. 

  2
• Community and Connection: Support systems foster a sense of community and connection, which can be comforting and healing. Engaging with others who have experienced similar losses can provide a shared understanding and support network. 

  1
• Professional Guidance: Professional support, such as counseling or therapy, can offer a safe space to explore feelings, gain insights, and develop coping strategies. 

  1
• Personal Growth: Engaging with support systems can lead to personal growth and development, as individuals learn to manage their grief and find ways to move forward. 

  1

  
  Support systems are essential in the grieving process, and it is important to recognize the various ways they can help individuals understand and navigate their grief. 

  6
• 

  

  6 Sources

Who do you turn to for support when grieving? Family, friends, Counselors, 12 Step Groups, grief Groups.

How have friends, support groups, or Counselors helped you navigate grief? They allowed me to safely share my story, my feelings, my experiences, my fears, and they have also been the ones to gently suggest looking at my journey from a different perspective. They've been my cheerleaders and motivated me to move forward and become a beacon for others experiencing the same.

What role does community play in your grief journey? They offer many free programs, counselors, resources, workshops, and that is also where I've connected with my tribe and gained confidence and a new LIFE! This also becomes the conduit of how I give back in service what I've been given.

I hope you now have up close and personal lens of my particular understanding of grief. I hope you'll take an inventory of your own. It's an understanding worth knowing.

Thanks for letting me share with you,

Peace, Love, and Vulnerability,

Laura

8 New Grief Books Defining 2025 Insights - BookAuthority