How to Spot the Red Flags of Narcissism

 

Good morning, all!

  This is the second part of Tasha Ina Church's Narcissist Life Coaching.

The topic is Spotting Red Flags.  I have personally found that this can be a lifelong lesson with many people. Don't despair!  After this, you will feel more equipped to not only spot them but handle yourself in situations which used to take you "down"! 

Tasha Ina Church starts off with this question:

1.What are some red flags in family, friend, and work relationships that are common with a narcissist?

Here are some red flags in family, friend, and work relationships of a narcissist:

• Controlling Behavior: The narcissist may exert excessive control over the relationship, making decisions for the other person without their consent. 

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• Gaslighting: They may attempt to undermine the other person's perception of reality, leading to confusion and doubt. 

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• Manipulative Tactics: The narcissist may use emotional manipulation to gain power and control over the relationship. 

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• Excessive Jealousy: They may display extreme jealousy and possessiveness, making the other person feel unworthy of their attention. 

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• Persistent Boundary Violations: The narcissist may consistently violate established boundaries, showing little to no remorse. 

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  These behaviors can indicate a deeper issue and warrant caution in relationships with narcissists.

Here's a YOUTUBE about having "Narcissistic Friends"

Narcissistic Friends | The Signs

2. How do you know when you have true connections vs. experiencing trauma bonding?

To differentiate between a true connection and trauma bonding with a narcissist, consider the following signs:

• Emotional Stability: In a true connection, you feel a sense of emotional stability and security. In a trauma bond, you may experience extreme emotional highs and lows, often feeling trapped or emotionally dependent on your partner's behavior. 

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• Trust and Safety: In a true connection, both partners feel secure in their relationship without the constant fear of abandonment or being hurt. In a trauma bond, trust is often absent, and you may feel responsible for your partner's emotions or actions. 

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• Mutual Respect: In a true connection, the relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and a supportive partnership that fosters safety and growth. In a trauma bond, commitment becomes a moving target, and you may feel responsible for your partner's emotions or actions. 

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• Healthy Boundaries: In a true connection, both partners maintain healthy boundaries via open communication and empathy. In a trauma bond, boundaries may be weak or nonexistent, leading to enmeshment and loss of self. 

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  Recognizing these signs can help you identify whether your feelings are rooted in a true connection or a trauma bond. If you suspect you are in a trauma bond, it is important to seek support and professional help to break free and pursue healthier relationships. 

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3. How do you shift from unhealthy bonding to accountability, repair, and relationship safety from narcissistic relationships?

How do you shift from trauma bonding to accountability, repair and relational safety from narcissistic relationships?

To shift from trauma bonding to accountability, repair, and relational safety in narcissistic relationships, consider the following strategies:

• Recognize the Trauma Bond: Acknowledge that you are in a trauma bond and that it is not a healthy or sustainable relationship. This awareness is crucial for healing and breaking free from the cycle. 

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• Seek Support: Reach out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and relationships. They can provide guidance and support as you navigate the process of letting go. 

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• Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the person you are trauma bonded with. This can help you protect yourself and move towards healthier relationships. 

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• Practice Self-Compassion: Foster self-compassion and build healthy relationships to enhance overall wellbeing. 

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• Understand the Dynamics: Recognize the patterns of manipulation and control in your relationship. Understanding these dynamics can help you understand and break free from trauma bonds. 

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  By implementing these strategies, you can work towards breaking free from trauma bonding and moving towards accountability, repair, and relational safety in your relationships.

 This is such a good article from redwoodpsy.com "Breaking Free from Trauma Bonds". This was my journey step by step and I'm grateful for all the support I received.

4. Understanding Hoovering and the Abuse Cycle:

Once you've either set boundaries or ended the relationship with a narcissist, expect the cycle of "Hoovering". 

Here are two articles that explain the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle and how insidious it is:

Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Stages, Effects, and How to Cope

The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle - The Covert Narcissist Recovery Project

5. The last thing Tasha Ina Church includes in this section and topic is your own RED FLAG CHECKLIST.

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I hope you have found some helpful information. Each time I read or take a test or do a worksheet, I learn something new. For that, I'm grateful!

Peace and Compassion,

Laura