Empower With Laura

  This morning as I was listening to my course in Self-Care/Self-Love, I remembered a beautiful opportunity to build my own safe tribe and community through Robin's Hope called, "Seeking Safety". Each week, we drew a number, that corresponded to a card. These cards represented famous quotes, 12-step Skills, and simple CBT skills. Each week Members showed up and discussed what these cards meant to us, and how they could affect us in our trauma? How could we use these skills to better cope?  Microsoft Word - Seeking Safety Coping Skills Reprint English.docx (cfsslo.org) This video today was about using affirmation cards.  Draw one from your own deck. Process it for a week and answer what does this card mean for you? What "aha" moment came up after focusing on it for a week? Find a safe tribe to share these cards and discoveries with.  Here are some affirmation cards to get you on your journey!!!!

 As I continue my Master's Empowerment Coaching Program in the Transformation Academy, in the "Self-Love/Self-Care Life Coaching", I was introduced to my own practice of Self-Care Mantras and my personal Morning Routine to jumpstart my day.     I begin my day very early! I have a pit bill mix who rises somewhere between 3:30-4:00 am. (Weekends are not a free pass). I take her out for a walk where I surrender my will to HP, release my character defects, and express gratitude for the day before (the people that called, the lessons I learned, the safety of my son at work during the heat, the ease of communication with normally difficult people, and for life itself. Next, I read my daily meditations. I move on to my   www.makeuseof.com/finch-self-care-widget-pet-app/ . There I can choose writing prompts, mantras, and exercises, set intentions for my day, read for fun, clean an area of a room, reach out to a friend to let them know I'm thinking of them, and look...

  So, followers,     I began my new Course in Self-Care Life Coaching. It brought up an old behavior I knew so well in my childhood and carried long into my adult years... stuffing my feelings. From an early age, I learned by watching and picking up social cues that certain feelings weren't allowed or could escalate an already heated or chaotic situation. Therefore, I pushed them down and resented the person(s) who I at that young emotionally immature age couldn't allow myself to express them. I went to other people who were not so safe and shared myself and thought I was accepted, loved, and wouldn't be abandoned.     The imbalance of bottling my feelings caused me such pain and physical illness, emotional setbacks, and even spiritual doubt. I would get into relationships with people over and over which led me down a path of hiding behind a mask; I was not expressing my feelings or I was overly expressing them trying to change the other person I was in a relati...

Good morning, followers!!    Over the weekend one of my beautiful Sponsees asked to do Shadow work. That led me down a necessary path of looking for the best and newest books, worksheets, and workbooks to explore and offer her.  I found a free workbook, "Wisdom of the Shadow Shadow Workbook Journal" to delve into deeper. Wisdom+of+the+Shadow+Workbook (1).pdf Also, I found a book, "The Secret Shadow" by Debbie Ford, that I purchased for myself as it was an author that I love who puts any topic into simplistic yet concrete examples of her own experience. I smiled as I bought it from Amazon. My brother, Anthony, who died in April of this year, loved her books too and would pick them up at a used bookstore and pass them on to friends to enjoy. The last jewel of my journey this morning was this assessment of the 9 ways we self-sabotage and receive my results. Assessments | Positive Intelligence  Very eye-opening and in so many ways, I've grown, and in so many ways, I...

  Good morning Followers!      Lately, I have found myself dealing with old wounds and triggers. I realized as a result of my tools that these triggers are very much in the past and I can name them, take my space, allow my body and mind some time to cool down and ground, and then deal with the situation more healthily.     Growing up in a family of dysfunction, I reacted in an impulsive, emotional way. I learned unhealthy survival passive-aggressive forms of communication and often didn't allow the other person to speak. I heard something from a distorted scared child's brain and body and in turn, took things personally, attacked back, or dissociated and shut down to preserve safety, and last but not least retreated and fawned.   After years of trauma work, I realize my lack of healthy coping mechanisms, communication skills, and emotional maturity have caused me and many others pain. So today I'm grateful, I can be in the present and have sincere conv...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZXGHwQZ1Xk   Good morning followers! Part of my journey in life as a human being, a woman, a mother, a widow, a daughter of alcoholism, a wife of a man who suffered from diabetes and had substance abuse disorder, also a generational history of mental illness and depression had a strong empathy for "narcissists". This came after many years of classes, trauma work, counseling, and 12 Step work. It continues today.    I've had to learn that my value comes from within not from outside people, places, and things. My growing-up years taught me many wonderful things; education, prioritizing my day and life, putting family first, taking care of my health, enriching my mind with the arts and culture, valuing spirituality, getting a community of support, loving my work and be damn good at it, and have lots of friendships that bring out the best in you.    What I lacked.... was a compass!!!! Everyone had an opinion and it mattered. Not that...

    Good morning! Over my spiritual discovery, I've had the opportunity to do a Genogram. Once through a Class called, " Family Ties That Bind" given at First Baptist on Monument Ave in Richmond, VA, the other was through a Robin's Hope Counselor.    A little background on the fight to participate in the 6-week class at First Baptist, "Family Ties That Bind". https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/186718.Family_Ties_That_Bind I was such a dedicated person to Praise Team at another church I felt I couldn't miss rehearsals and this Class was only given once a year on Sunday evenings. I recognized it was something I had to experience, I got the songs, and the tapes for the rehearsals, and practiced on my own. I showed up for this Genogram and Class that showed me some important dynamics in my family and how I was inter-relating with them and "why".   Years later, I would experience an intergenerational trauma genogram through a loving counselor at Ro...

  So today I cried as I saw Disabled Veterans tow away my 17-year baby! My car of 17 years that I had purchased in my name three months after my husband of 24 years had died of cardiomyopathy.     Then as a Life Coach, I breathed with gratitude and thought how blessed I am by the ability to donate this car, which is still running with over 185,000 original miles, and that I received my oldest brother's 2016, Kia Optima with 56,800 original miles on it!    My vision gets brighter when I look at the limitless possibilities that are in store for me along the pathway not "limited by my imagination", my limited beliefs, or my fears. Gratitude keeps me grounded in the present, open to new possibilities, willing to replace my beliefs, and surrendering my fear.    It was necessary to shed a few tears as I said goodbye to my orange tour bus full of love, memories, relationships, pain, feelings, recovery, honesty, community, and commitment. It's also necess...

 Every day I get an opportunity, to be honest with myself, HP, and other people.   Yesterday, in my favorite 12-Step Meeting, an all-women's Meeting, I remembered my distorted pattern of thinking with Pollyannaism brought to light by my first Sponsor. It was evident I had awoken from such "bright-sidedness" and dishonesty, as I shared how I couldn't accept that I was volunteering for pain, denial, and trauma and really not listening to someone in my life that I had declared to love. At this juncture, I can now hear the painful admission of that loved one and be powerless and sad, without having to lose myself. I can thank time, the program, my HP, and these precious women for showing up and providing a safe space for me to be vulnerable and HONEST.  https://www.independentlyhappy.com/pollyanna-syndrome/